About Me
My work as a psychologist, writer, and columnist was born out of a simple, and sometimes not entirely comfortable, truth: being a human being is a messy, unpredictable experience, and from time to time - perhaps because of that very fact - it is breathtakingly beautiful.
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The Human Connection: The Ultimate Predictor
We can talk about methods, research theories, and map out schemas until tomorrow, but decades of robust clinical research point to one undeniable fact: the strongest and most consistent predictor of therapeutic success is not the therapist's training in any specific method, nor their theoretical approach, but the quality of the bond and the human chemistry between therapist and client.
No academic definition can replace the simple, secure, and vital feeling of sitting across from someone who truly gets you, who knows how to hold the space with you when the ground is shaking, and who can also laugh with you at the absurdity of the quirks and vulnerabilities shared by us all.
And because we cannot think our way into trust, the only way to know if this is a match is simply to try.
If you feel like you are functioning in survival mode rather than living, if you are tired of the autopilot, or if you are facing a painful separation or dissolution and need a place to lay down your swords - I invite you to reach out to me.
I hold a PhD in Social, Developmental, and Cognitive Psychology from The New School for Social Research in New York, an MA in Psychology and an additional MA in Anthropology from The New School, and a BA in Anthropology and Philosophy from The City College of New York. I am a certified therapist and supervisor in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), a certified family and divorce mediator, and have trained extensively in Schema Therapy. I treat individuals and couples in my clinic and online worldwide.
Words, Art, and "Qualia"
I was born in New York and raised in a "bilingual" home. On one hand was the language of words in which we spoke, wrote, and read; on the other hand, the visual world of art, photography, and the printed page was our second language. As the child of an editor and a photographer, I understood very early on that metaphor is not a romantic embellishment, but a psychological survival tool. It is the linguistic bridge that signals to us that an unspoken, visceral, and threatening internal experience is like something tangible we can look at together and hold onto so we do not fall apart.
In philosophy, there is a term called Qualia - the entirely private, subjective quality of our individual conscious experience. It represents the most fundamental isolation of the human condition: the knowledge that we can never directly prove that the "pink" I see or the pain I feel is exactly identical to yours.
But when we encounter a precise metaphor - in a book, a painting, a weekly column, or a breakthrough moment in the therapy room - that isolation momentarily dissolves. We discover that someone managed to map the secret geography of our psyche before they ever met us. In that moment, we feel truly seen.
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In an era that worships optimization, control, and instant fixes, we are shocked when life refuses to align with our plans, and when we feel emotions that are "unfitting," "unjustified," or simply unpleasant to feel. We construct flawless logical arguments, convinced that if we just explain ourselves one more time, the people we love will suddenly change their behavior. We adopt trendy therapeutic jargon and narrate our pain with perfect eloquence, sometimes just to avoid the truly terrifying thing: actually feeling it.
In my clinical practice and in my writing, my goal is to help you put your plans aside and step into the actual room. I am not here to "fix" you, your partner, or your parents—that technology does not exist. What I offer instead is a space where you can stop trying to outsmart your vulnerability, dismantle the illusions of control that keep you looping, and learn to live better with the cracks.
How I Work: Guiding and Facilitating the Process
As a therapist, I see myself as a Process Consultant, in the spirit of the developer of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), Dr. Les Greenberg. I do not hold the answers to your life; you are the expert on your content, and I am the expert on the way to process it.
Our work rests on three core clinical anchors:
1. Healthy Emotional Processing (EFT)
We examine in depth the difference between healthy emotional processing and blocked or malfunctioning processing. Your emotions are not a nuisance to be solved or decorations to overlay onto reality. They are a sophisticated navigation system hardwired into us over millions of years of evolution to help us assess danger, identify needs, and make accurate, adaptive decisions. When we lose touch with them, we begin to work against ourselves. In therapy, we slow down the pace to put this signaling system back to work, helping you distinguish between the critical or terrifying voices that run you and the primary, healthy emotions that can mobilize you toward precise action.
2. Rewriting Predictions (Schema Therapy)
Alongside the emotional work, we need maps, tools, and cognitive structure to navigate our lives. Our brain operates as a predictive machine based on an old database. When we encounter a difficulty, the brain asks, "What worked for me at age ten with Mom and Dad?" and pulls out that same old solution (pleasing, avoidance, defensive aggression), even though it has long since ceased to serve us.
In Schema Therapy, we do the practical work of testing these predictions. We practice using tools and experiment with actions that your anxious brain predicts will lead to disaster, teaching your nervous system a new, empowering experience: you are no longer the helpless children you once were, and today's world is far wider and safer than your past predicts.
3. The Archivist of Your Sanity
In moments of crisis, we are prone to "emotional amnesia". When we are overwhelmed by anxiety or fear of abandonment, our healthy adult self goes on an forced vacation, leaving us trapped in the "absolute present" of old distress. My role in this space is to be the keeper of your memory. Throughout this process, you deposit with me moments of clarity, clear boundaries, and understandings of what is right for you and what destroys you. When we are in danger of drowning in our immediate feelings, my job is to open the archive, place those pieces of your truth back in front of you, and help you reintegrate the split-off parts of yourself.
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