How to preserve both you family fortune and your family ties

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Money is a sensitive topic. Family relationships are a sensitive topic. Combining them together is like spilling oil to a fire.

Since money is known to be a sensitive matter, many families avoid taking care of it for years. But the more we avoid talking about money out of fear to initiate a conflict, the greater the chances that a conflict will erupt. While lawyers play a crucial part in estate planing, a therapy-trained mediator may be of significant help handeling the many anxieties that come along with the process.

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The perspective of Emotionally Focused Therapy helps family members acknowledge that parents and children do not share the same fears. While parents may worry about spooling their children, children often measure their parents’ love in terms of money.

An EFT trained mediator has the ability to initiate a conversation between parents and (grown) children that will put family members on a different track and show them that the more we listen to the pain and fears of our loved ones, the better we are able to bridge the gaps between us.

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In sum, estate planning is an emotional matter, which could even tear up the family. Legal advice (particularly with the understanding of taxes issues) is crucial, but so is the help of a mediator with a family therapy orientation, who can help all involved understand themselves and their needs, see things from each other’s point of view, and knows how to balance asserting boundaries with expressing needs in a way that reduces over all friction.

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Eventually, if you do it right, estate planing could help you save both your family fortune and your family ties.