### Understanding Self-Care in Challenging Times

Balancing Personal Well-Being with Broader Social Awareness

Two weeks ago, I shared ten strategies that helped my family and me survive our first period of isolation. These included using a curtain, earplugs, and a different sleeping schedule to create privacy, sunrise walks to reduce anxiety, baths with foam games for children, and baking foolproof recipes. While many appreciated these tips, I also received some aggressive comments. One, in particular, caught my attention.

A commenter, identifying as "New York," wrote: "How much privilege and lack of self-awareness. Where are the social gaps, where is the racism, the violence against the weak? For those who were exiled from their country so that you could have properties in Tel Aviv or the Galilee and take bubble baths?"

This reaction stayed with me. It led me to realize that the list was about self-care, a concept that in Hebrew translates to "self-maintenance." Beyond our heightened tensions, there is something in this concept that might still resonate with Israelis.

So, what is self-care? It is not pampering for its own sake, nor is it escapist relief. Self-care is the foundation of our ability to care for others. At a time when we have many others to care for, looking after ourselves is crucial.

A relevant metaphor is the airplane safety instruction to put on your oxygen mask before assisting a child. This counterintuitive advice makes perfect sense: a child with an oxygen mask but without a parent is less desirable than a child who receives help after the parent has secured their own mask.

Photo Caption: A man takes care of a rose bush in downtown Ankara, Turkey, May 2020. The effectiveness of self-care comes from persistence and creating an appropriate routine. Photo: Burhan Ozbilici/AP.

Does this mean bubble baths, Zoom Pilates classes, time with friends, or Netflix binges are equivalent to oxygen masks? It depends. The action itself doesn’t have intrinsic value in this context. The bath doesn’t determine whether it’s self-care or avoidance; it’s about its role in our lives and how we decide on it.

To discern self-care from mere indulgence, prioritize your needs. These can include emotional and physical needs such as company, personal development, emotional security, physical security, spiritual fulfillment, and curiosity. Further divisions might include preventing diseases, taking care of the body, feeling competent, contributing to the community, preserving family ties, connecting with nature, and more.

Identify five categories most important to you. Note how well you addressed these needs before the pandemic and their current quality.

For instance, I value disease prevention and nurturing my children. Before the pandemic, I managed my health better, but now I focus more on my children. This realization directs my self-care towards improving my long-term health.

Analyzing the reasons for any decline in self-care, like stopping CrossFit to avoid exposure to COVID-19, can help find solutions. For instance, I can run twice a week and walk to work instead of driving. Running in the morning would be true self-care, not shirking responsibility.

If others experience your self-care as neglect, address the issue together. Persistence and creating a self-care routine are vital. This routine, even if temporary, helps meet significant needs, strengthening our ability to handle life's stresses and ensuring we can help those dependent on us.

Finally, this doesn't address the poignant question: "Where are the social gaps, racism, and violence towards the weak? What about those exiled so you can have properties in Tel Aviv or the Galilee and go jogging?" Since the need to be more righteous than the Pope is not high on my list, this question remains unanswered for now.