Preparing for COVID-19: Conversations Every Family Should Have

How to Address the Possibility of Infection Before It Happens

When I studied at A.D. Gordon School in Tel Aviv, we sang, "The teacher says it will be autumn soon; in the homeland class, she shows a stone." As the new school year approaches, the focus will shift from traditional activities like carving, shooting, and farming to masks, alcohol gel, and vaccines. Unlike the past year and a half, which was dedicated to avoiding infection and isolation, we must now also prepare for the possibility of infection.

Discussing COVID-19 infection is something best done before it happens. The first conversation about this shouldn't occur if and when a family member gets infected, as everyone will likely be too tense and busy to express their fears and wishes. Now, while we still manage to avoid infection, it's worth overcoming the natural tendency to set aside this troubling issue and instead, listen and voice our concerns.

Start with a Parental Conversation

Like many sensitive topics, it’s best to start this conversation as a couple. Parents may differ in age, sex, general health, and attitudes toward diseases, pain, and medicine. Some feel safer in a hospital, while others do anything to stay home. Some trust their body's ability to fight illness, while others face health anxieties or fear social stigma. The initial conversation should address what scares each parent the most about a family member getting infected.

For such a conversation to be effective, both parties should speak freely without jumping to solutions or immediately reassuring each other. Empathic listening is crucial. Reflecting on what the other person says helps them feel understood, not judged, and allows them to hear themselves and look inward.

Address Practical Issues

The second part of the parental conversation should move on to practical issues. Since practical and mental aspects are intertwined, it’s helpful to divide the conversation into scenarios: What happens if a grandparent gets infected? What if a parent gets infected but the children do not? What if a child gets infected but the parents do not? Each scenario should include both narrative and practical solutions.

For example, if a child gets infected, maintaining an emotionally balanced atmosphere is essential. Some parents explain to their children that they have a "children's coronavirus" to reduce fear. They might also highlight positive aspects, such as easier travel and social activities after recovery. Planning these conversations in advance can help parents stay focused and avoid unnecessary improvisation.

Discussing practical steps is also crucial: Who will stay home if a child is diagnosed but not sick? What about other children in the family? Can you talk to other family members in advance about staying with them? Who will take care of the dog? While it’s impossible to cover every possible combination, the goal is to start the brainstorming process so you’re less shocked if it happens.

Have a Conversation with the Children

The next step is talking to the children. Many parents feel embarrassed about starting sensitive conversations, but it’s simpler than it seems. All you need is dinner, phones and screens aside, a few opening words, a generous amount of question marks, and a willingness to listen. Explain that while it’s unpleasant to think about, many people get infected, and it’s not clear it can be avoided. Ask them what bothers them most about the possibility of infection and what they fear.

Listening with an open heart is vital. Your children may be more concerned with stigma than you imagine, or they might worry about missing soccer practice, the scouts' trip, or catching the virus. Don’t belittle their concerns, even if you aim to calm them down. Instead, show that you’re listening seriously and share reasonable examples from your preliminary conversation. You can express your fears and creative solutions after processing them yourself.

This conversation doesn’t have to be exhaustive. Be alert for signs of restlessness and let the children return to their activities when appropriate. The main goal is for them to know they can talk to you and to face this challenging period more united as a family.