Navigating Daily Chaos: A Snapshot of Pandemic Life

Surviving the Roller Coaster of Family Life and Anxiety During Covid-19

What day is it today? Really, already? Well, today I really won't touch carbs. And also, I'll relax with the wine. And take a shower. Even take a bath. Yes, a bath will make me feel human. What we are asking for here, honey, is that you complete the missing numbers in these fractions. So here we have 1/2, and how many eighths is 1/2? 4. Very beautiful, honey. So now, how many sixths is 1/2? Two? Are you sure 1/2 = 2/6, honey? Jesus, what, is he adopted?

What, Loli?! What does your sister want? I can't hear! I don't hear!!! Why are you contacting me?! Maybe I'll make myself sleep? If I close my eyes, I'll fall asleep on the spot, which is great, but what if there's an alarm?

That's how it is during Corona, and you are both normal and excellent.

Are you suffering from "Corona slander"? Check yourself.

Really everyone, another pee just in case. Did someone take the dog out? No problem, don't answer. Just do me a favor and don't contact me either. By the way, when I was little, there was this thing where they gave dogs to a farm in the north. I wonder if it still exists, this farm. And the corona? And global warming? It's still happening, isn't it? Because we are heartbroken over all these plastics that we put in a plastic bag and throw away. Simple, all this effort: bring from the grocery store, tear off the packaging, put in a trash bag, throw in the trash. We can just go to the dolphin, open its mouth wide, and shove all the plastic right into its stomach.

What was that noise? Are you sure, baby? Tell me, is someone here following me and turning off the air conditioner every time I turn it on? Yes, Loli. Yes, I hear. From birth. So get off Instagram for a moment and bring me the phone. Who is this now? Don't answer her. Don't answer her. Hi, Mom, how did the alarm go? No, Mom, don't hang out now, will you? I can't believe she put me on hold. Honey, you're my life, but if I see you with two screens one more time, I'll give this iPad to the first person who walks by on the street. Don't be smart, so what if no one is walking on the street.

Hey, Mom, yes, you put me on hold. Oh wow, Ruhka suddenly got on the line? That's how you suddenly entered the conversation? I didn't know Ruhka was away in the Shin Bet. It's very reassuring to know, now with all these riots. No, just a joke. Well, Mom, Ruhka didn't suddenly get on the line. It was you who pressed something while talking to me. Leave it, never mind. Don't go out, I'll take care of it. Good, honey, take a shower. Now, Mom, I'll get you what? Listen, I'm not a concierge, okay? I think I hear an alarm.

A building that was hit by a rocket in Ashkelon, last week. You believe me that it's scary but not dangerous, right? Photo: Ilan Assig

Everyone to MMD. Loli, my beautiful Comey, Comey, there's an alarm. Yes, honey, I know, it's very scary but it's not dangerous. Look into my eyes. You believe me it's scary but not dangerous, right? Honey, you called your mom? Yours? Don't go out. It's not even ten minutes. I forgot to go back to the accountant, and he's already awake. This? Yes, you can go out.

Did someone drop off the dog? Did I already ask that? Walla? Because I just stepped in pee, and I'm pretty sure it's not mine. Because mine smells much more like asparagus, that's how. Well, now I'm really going to take a shower. Great question, honey, I'll tell you how it started. So once upon a time, there was a period called the Spring of Nations. Then there were two gentlemen, an Englishman and a Frenchman, called Sykes and Pico. Yes, exactly, no one is really right, you understood very well, honey. Yes, I don't think that if they are given a country, they will make war with us. Because they want to live too, honey, everyone wants to live. You must stop thinking about the mothers who hug the children who are shaking and have no MMD, and you must stop thinking about the children there who grow up to hate him. Look at me for a moment, you are seriously not leaving me any hot water?!

What was that? Just a motorcycle? Baby, are you sure? Thanks, I love you. Where, to America? And you're not worried that one day some weirdo will enter their high school and spray everyone? I don't know, "Rosenblum" doesn't sound so Portuguese. Sounds good, I will teach you Hebrew and you will teach me. Maybe I can specialize in couples therapy for all the Israelis who moved to Portugal and are going to murder each other.

Ruhka suddenly got on the line? I didn't know she was in the Shin Bet. Photo: CHRISTOF STACHE - AFP

Sweetie, pick it up before someone opens their head. Say, honey, why didn't you tell me you got seven messages from the messengers? No, they don't send it to my phone either. "The package is waiting for you in Yusuf's corner"? They are serious with me, I will now go to Jaffa for a sheet with flamingos? Who takes the dog out? Nice, thanks Loli. What, is this how you leave the house? I don't know, because you are naked?! Do whatever you want. Honey, listen, I'm pretty sure I smelled a cigarette on her. How can it be??? She was just born!

We must test drive the car. Yes, I canceled. Yes, they canceled. Well, at least now I have time to prepare her work on the idea of Israel. Not really prepare for her. Yes, prepare for her, prepare for her, what's up? You might think the teacher doesn't know. She has been sitting on Zoom for a year in her circle, assigning grades to all the mothers. I can't believe that Michaela's mother earned more than me working in literature. What is it, again Grandma? What did she write? I don't know, answer something for Grandma, Loli. Something, I don't know what, a poop and gun emoji.

You're right, maybe I'll actually read something. I remember for sure that I once read a book and it was a good experience. Wait, what's that, he's scratching? But I see you itch. How many years of my life will I comb lice? My next book will be inspired by Jane Goodall, "My Life with Lice." Well, come on, where did I put the bills? What should it be? NIS 1,487 electricity bill?! So what if it's bi-monthly, what are you doing here while I'm at work, executing people?! Someone see a clean cup? Who was the righteous person who filled the dishwasher but did not turn it on? Where is the disposable? It must be six o'clock somewhere in the world. Who is the genius who invented the bags with ice? And the genius who developed the pedal of the trash can? I hope they died very rich women. And drinks.

Who is the boy who sleeps peacefully in the bedroom? The relaxed girl in the living room? And the man who patiently prepares dinner? And who is the nomad in the bathroom mirror, who filters curses, with circles under her eyes and knots in her hair? Who ran out of my teddy bears? Loli, when you go out with the dog, throw the garbage in the bag too, be careful, there are glass bottles, they won't break, it's the Baileys bottles that have been made small.