Literature for Healing: Books to Help Cope with Loss

Recommended Novels for Emotional Resilience

Emotionally focused therapists in Israel have two significant WhatsApp groups. One is a highly impressive group for references, and the other is a discussion group for professional exchanges (e.g., how to handle a narcissistic patient who refuses to pay for a last-minute cancellation) and moments of personal sharing (e.g., how to say goodbye to patients before going on maternity leave). This WhatsApp group often serves as a source of inspiration, support, and a place to share final lists of resources and ideas.

I'm giving you a behind-the-scenes look at this WhatsApp group today because a question posed by a colleague inspired this column. She asked for recommendations on fictional books to help her patient, who is dealing with a complex loss, find solace in beautiful literature. This question resonated with me, so I compiled a list of recommended books:

Why Should You Close Your Computer and Open a Book?

And Today We Are Not a Bride

"And Today We Are Not a Bride" is a novel by Chingis Aitmatov, published in the Soviet Union in 1980 and translated into Hebrew by Dina Markon and Ametsia Porat. The story revolves around people living in a remote settlement in the steppes of Kazakhstan, whose lives are centered around the needs of the trains that pass through.

When Kazengep, the oldest man in the settlement, dies, Yagey, his best friend, embarks on a day-long journey to bury him in an ancient cemetery far from the village. Accompanied by a caravan that includes a camel, a dog, the deceased's son, and his drunken son-in-law, Yagey recalls various events from their decades-long friendship.

It is clear from this summary why the book is suitable for those dealing with loss. It wonderfully illustrates the tension in our experience of time. Our days seem full and progress in a constant rhythm, yet when we look back, time flies at a frightening pace. The book conveys that every drama begins with three people in an isolated place.

This book is also suitable for those who need to cry as part of their recovery process, as illustrated by this quote from the beginning: "But before he heard from her what he had already guessed, his heart was pinched by self-pity. Her breathing was short and heavy, and she came out snoring and whistling from her chest, and her narrow shoulders rose and came down strong.

"In the strong electric light in the small white shack of the Railway Authority, the furrowed wrinkles on Okubala's dark, bluish cheeks were suddenly highlighted - her face had the yellowness of the grain, and her eyes always shone with a black glow. And this crookedness of her mouth - this is living proof that even a woman who is getting married is the pension of her womanhood years, forbidden To be toothless. She should have been taken to the nearest station to be fitted with metal dentures - old people with such teeth. And this white hair falls from her face. 'How old, my dear' he says in his heart. And with that The same silent gratitude for everything they had spent together for many years grew stronger in him."

The Girl from the Post Office

This book is by Stefan Zweig, who died in 1942, and was published posthumously in 1982. Translated into Hebrew by Tali Koons and published by Modan Publishing in 2013, the story features Christina Höflehner, an Austrian postal clerk living in post-World War I Austria. Christina's life is turned upside down when her wealthy uncles invite her to join them on a holiday in the Swiss Alps. Without giving spoilers, the event that occurs there drastically changes her life path until its harsh end. Zweig's prose deals with many types of loss and does not shy away from portraying those who struggle to recover.

The Age of Innocence

Edith Wharton's perfect book tells the story of the unfulfilled love between Countess Olenska and Newland Archer in New York's high society at the end of the 19th century. Published in 1920, it earned Wharton the Pulitzer Prize for Literature and was translated into Hebrew by Idit Shurer in 2013. The plot is summarized well by a quote from a review in "Haaretz" by Omri Herzog:

"May's cousin, Countess Olenska, comes from 'Europe', the old-new world, and shakes Archer's world. She escapes from her European husband under terrible circumstances and finds refuge in her American family's bosom. But she remains a stranger, tainted by an unrecognized 'style', a hidden power of emotions, or a dubious life experience. She brings Archer to life; an unregulated, free, and natural love that depicts shared experience and liberation from the shackles of romantic rebellion. They fall in love with each other, a forbidden and dangerous love, as she is still married and he is engaged. Their love stands against a world whose borders and orders are so fortified that beyond them lurks an abyss."

The Sense of an Ending

Julian Barnes' wonderful book, published in 2011 and translated into Hebrew by Michal Alfon a year later, is one of the shortest books to win the prestigious Booker Prize. It is recommended for those who find it difficult to read long texts and want to enhance their sense of competence and self-image as readers. This is a book about loss, memory, and the stories we tell ourselves. It presents human memory as a slippery agent that tells us only what we want to hear.

The Remains of the Day

"The Remains of the Day" is perhaps the best-known novel by English writer Kazuo Ishiguro, who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2017. Published in 1989, it was translated into Hebrew by Tsila Elazar and published by Am Oved in 1992 and Kinneret Publishing in 2006. Like "The Sense of an Ending," it won a Booker Prize. Like "The Age of Innocence," it received an impressive cinematic adaptation. Like "And Today We Are Not a Bride," it deals with unfulfilled love. And like "The Girl from the Post Office," it powerfully illustrates how the specific social context and the era into which we are born can tragically shape our life experiences, influencing what we allow ourselves to take from life and what we don't, leading to feelings of regret or guilt after each choice.