Using Imagination to Regulate Emotions: Creating a Safe Place

How Imagination Work Can Help Manage Stress and Anxiety

In a recent discussion, I mentioned that in the immediate term, there is very little we can do to positively affect our emotions. While I initially expanded on meditation and breathing exercises, there is another effective action we can take: imagination work.

Our imagination is a powerful tool in mental processes and plays a central role in experiential therapy approaches. In these therapies (such as EFT, schema therapy,

AEDP, and others), one principle is to bring the emotional system’s negative expectations to the surface. This can be done by revisiting painful childhood memories and rewriting a new and positive ending to these old emotional conditions. For example, a patient might respond with empathy to their own childhood pain awakened by a memory.

The Power of Imagination

Imagination work can significantly reduce our sensitivity to triggers pressing on our childhood wounds. However, it is not suitable for moments when we are suddenly overwhelmed emotionally. In such emergencies, we can combine breathing techniques from meditation with a tool called the "safe place."

A "safe place" is a calming and reassuring inner mental space where we can focus our attention while under stress, helping us relax before reacting to the situation. My initial safe place developed spontaneously in the dentist's chair. As a child, I would draw a certain shape in my imagination and repeat it in my mind's eye until the end of the treatment, calming myself into a meditative state. Later, I developed another safe place based on a beach, and more recently, a winter shelter inspired by children's books like Winnie the Pooh.

Creating Your Safe Place

To access these safe places during emotional storms, they should be prepared ahead of time. This preparation doesn't require prolonged therapy. Any moment of peace and privacy can be used to create a safe place in your imagination, which you can turn to in stressful situations.

One way to do this is by creating an inspiration file on your computer, filled with references related to your safe place. Use all the senses, not just sight, because the more sensory aspects you include, the more pathways connect to your safe place, making it more accessible in real time.

Start with pictures from real places, movies, or books. For example, if your safe place is a cozy den, include drawings from children's books, images of a kettle on the stove, an apple pie on the table, and a burning fireplace. Drawing parts of your safe place yourself can also be calming and enhance its mental presence.

Incorporating All Senses

Include links to video and audio clips that fit the atmosphere, such as favorite songs or background sounds (rain, a flowing stream, logs crackling in a fireplace). Add recipes and pictures of food you imagine being cooked there, or photographs of different fabrics or materials to represent the sense of touch. Insert quotes from books or songs, or pictures of beloved people, animals, or objects.

The act of preparing this file is critical, as it is relaxing and increases the chances of accessing your safe place when needed. Develop and practice this more than once.

After preparing the file, integrate all parts in your imagination: find a comfortable place to sit or lie down, close your eyes, and imagine yourself in your safe place.

Using Your Safe Place

Imagine yourself in two ways: as the adult who functions as a good mother to yourself and as the vulnerable child who wakes up in the presence of a trigger. Picture the child in a peaceful place, and the adult staying nearby until the child can relax. For example, imagine the child sitting in a huge armchair in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a cozy blanket, while the adult chats with forest animals in the kitchen.

Practice staying in the safe place and engaging your senses. The more you practice, the more effective this tool becomes. Finally, imagine leaving the calm child in the safe place and returning to your present life. This helps ensure the tool calms the scared part of you, allowing the adult in you to handle life’s challenges.

In life, it can feel like driving in a storm. The frightened child within us wakes up, making it harder to function. Calming this child with tools like Safe Place allows us to get back in the driver’s seat and focus on life’s challenges.